An Open Letter to Jan Brewer - I'll Show You Mine if You Show Me Yours Gerald Long 02/03/12 11:51PM
Jan Brewer. Jan Brewer. Jan Brewer. What to say about Jan Brewer?. I feel like I'm back at my Aunt Mary Elizabeth's and Uncle John's farm in Kentucky throwing snow balls at the side of their big red barn. It's so large it overwhelms me and stymies my enthusiasm for the activity. Aunt Elizabeth's dogs run through the snow chasing down my snowballs, which fall short. I get closer to the barn. Where to start throwing? I have to wait for it...for the focus of my eye to land upon a few landmarks, a gouge or a faucet coming out or a hook for a rope, to rescue my activity from its chaos and existential horror. G.E.D. Arizona Governor, alcoholic, former dog groomer, mother of criminally insane and sex offender son, finger pointer; it's impossible to know where to begin. Wait for it.... organtransplant denier. That's where to begin. That is the nexus of the 3d menagerie of weirdness that surrounds this strange, scary woman like a star cluster in a lonely galaxy. Man, you know, I'm sorry...I'm just stymied...so many places...wow I definitely should not be burning one and then trying to write this shit.
So this white, G.E.D. dog grooming, alcoholic, racist bitch who recently pointed a finger in the face of the obviously African American President, Barrack Obama, as if he had arrived back on the tarmac in shackles and she was scolding him for running away from the plantation-has a son. And he, Ronald Brewer, is criminally insane and locked up in the forensic ward of the Arizona State Hospital at a cost of $619 dollars per day according to The Arizona Republic. No, I swear this gets weirder. Wait for it. Apparently, Jan's little boy Ronald, who is now 46, was awarded Social Security disability benefits as a result of being found criminally insane after he forcefully sexually assaulted a woman who knocked on his apartment door by accident. And G.E.D. Governor Jan, and may I call you “Jan hey watch where you point that thing! Mother of psychopath” was Ronald's Representative Payee. And apparently there was some mix up and Jan forgot to tell the Social Security Administration that her son has been incarcerated in a forensic ward for like the last 20 something years even though it's right there on the form she has to sign as his Representative Payee. And there's something about $75,000 in over payments. (Since 1995, Federal Law has barred payments to SSI recipients who are institutionalized or incarcerated.) Now I need a drink. One wonders what went on in that household: dead dad, Jan the "future" organ transplant denier and Social Security fraud, criminally crazy kid...why does it all weirdly make sense? Well Jan, if I can point my finger at you and call you that, I mean we're all casual out here on the virtual tarmac....look there goes a plane...no just kidding, focus Jan, fight through that alcoholic fog, get a cup of coffee...we have all day, sweetie. God I just love it when a politician says “fuck civility let's talk” Okay Jan, baby-let's talk. I'll show you mine if you show me yours. No, not that you dirty minded psycho mother, I mean mother of a pscyho-sorry. I'm talking about our Social Security financial records. I'm on Social Security Disability. Took me three years to get mine. Had to run all over town getting MRI's and procedures, do a bunch of appeals, get a lawyer...prove I was born with VACTERL, anal atresia, really messed up lumbar and cervical spine...you know the usual democratic liberal “I'm disabled, please help me” whining you hear. Of course the reason you characterize democratic liberals that way is because we know way the fuck better then to ask you for help. We may not be positively gaga over the Democrats either, but who you going to ask? You? Miss Brewercare? You who told Medicaid organ transplant list patients to fuck off and die as was reported by Forbes on 12/15/10? Anyway, I digress. Back to the Social Security financial records...where were we, oh yeah I'll show you mine if you show me yours. Because you refused to let the Arizona Republic see yours. What are you hiding? Hey, I'm just some poor liberal disabled bastard living in the housing projects, you know a scumbag like me has to have some financial fraud associated with Social Security, right? After all I'm no law abiden Tea Partyin traditional alcoholic, cowboy, finger pointing governor, like you. I'm probably some smack shootin, whore beatin, meth snorting-hell meth cooking-degenerate fiend who ought to be locked up somewhere. So, it stands to reason I got some dirt in my Social Security payment history and reporting. (I feel like Mel Gibson on the roof with the suicide...come on let's jump!”) Let's both give our records to the Press. I'll call the Salt Lake Tribune right now and give them mine and you call the Arizona Republic and give them yours. What do you say Jan? Mind if I point my finger at you? Give me a write back here at firstname.lastname@example.org and let's “get high high high up on the roof!” Man I just love Kate Bush! I know that was weird...but that's just me being totally condescending and rude to the Governor of Arizona. Wow, Jan, you're right, bitch...that feels good!