Human caused climate change denied by Fox, GOP; still won’t change the outcome
According to NASA, 97% of Greenland’s surface ice has melted within the span of a few days. According to NASA, the normal melt throughout the summer is around 57% and this increase implies terrible omens. They’ve suggested a future of vanishing islands, flooded coastlines and disrupted weather.
Already, much of the world is reeling from bizarre weather this year; record heat waves followed by a nearly missing winter, severe to extreme drought through the U.S., heavy rain and floods in Europe. Drought in 2012 shrunk this year’s crops to nearly half.
A recent senate convention convened to discuss EPA regulations to help combat climate change. While perhaps these regulations come too little too late, here's a sneak peek into the inner workings of our leaders' thoughts on climate change.
Toxicology reports released now show Rudy Eugine, the Miami cannibal, was not using bath salts or synthetic cannabis. Looks like we're back to the Zombie theory...
Don't go giving doomsday away to the zombies just yet though. Climate change is still racing forward and probably leading the apocalypse wars. Fires are raging throughout the west and have so far burned more than 17,000 acres in Colorado and 167,000 acres in Utah. Fires have broken out in Idaho and Arizona as well, fiercer, earlier and more damaging than normal. Add in heat waves and storms plaguing the Midwest and East Coast, and we have to admit Climate Change is ahead of the Zombie Apocalypse in the race to end the world.
Zombies and the climate don't have a complete monopoly on the Apocalypse though. Other popular end of the world theories include alien invasion, sunbursts, super volcano eruptions, cosmic catastrophe and the Christian Rapture. Right now, we'll have to wait and see (some predict doomsday before end of the year), but Climate Change seems like it's certainly leading the Apocalypse parade.
According to experts there might still be hope to reverse the effects of climate change before it's too late. On an individual basis, we can: plant trees, walk instead of driving, use less electricity, eat less meat, purchase products locally, use public transportation, use wind or solar energy and urge our political leaders to adopt more environmental policies. A number of agencies are actively seeking volunteers to help with environmental projects as well. There might still be time to act... then we can gun down zombies!
The Center for Disease Control previously launched ad campaigns addressing Zombie preparedness. Now they’re backtracking; saying no Zombie Apocalypse is impending. . .
A number of Zombophiles think otherwise; after several gruesome attacks. A guy in Florida ate another man’s face. A Texas mother ate half her baby. Some scientist in NJ cut himself open and threw his own intestines at police… all following a completely unrelated rash at a Florida school.
Move over Global Warming (if you exist); there’s a new threat in town. According to internet whisperings and several news outlets, Zombies have taken over Miami. Maybe we’re ahead of ourselves; only one actual (albeit unconfirmed) Zombie has been spotted; it had been 31 year old Rudy Eugine, before becoming a zombie. Even so, Zombie aficionados often compare Zombies to bedbugs; for every Zombie you spot, a hundred lurk undetected.
Police in Miami responded to an assault in broad daylight to find a naked man eating the face another man later identified as 65 year old Ronald Poppo. According to reports, when police ordered the Zombie away from the victim; it stared briefly at officers, snarled and then continued devouring the victims face. Even as officers shot the Zombie, he remained unaware and continued his meal until dead.